“Affection is when you see someone’s strengths; love is when you accept someone’s flaws.” – One Day
When you are in a long term relationship a little understanding can go a long way. No one is perfect so the key is understanding someone’s flaws but loving them anyway. Darren and I have been together over 23 years and along the way I have discovered a few things which really annoy me as I am sure he has with me!
We all have flaws
Darren has a habit of repeating the same information to me over and over again (and this has got worse as he has gotten older!). Now, this can be really irritating but when all is said and done, I really don’t care, as I could never imagine my life without him. Therefore, when he is repeating something to me for the tenth time and I am having a bad day or I am stressed the temptation to snap at him can be high. Understanding that this is a part of his personality which he can not help makes things much easier. He is not doing it on purpose to annoy me so I have learned to let it go.
Darren can also be very negative which I find difficult as I have lived with depression for most of my adult life and his mood can greatly affect how I am feeling. I have learned to not let it bother me so much anymore as I like to be positive. I really believe that living with a positive attitude attracts other positive things. However, if I was writing a list of attributes of an ideal partner, having a positive outlook would be very high up on my list, but I understand that this is part of Darren’s personality and I should not try to change who he is. I love him despite of the things that annoy me.
Remember the good points
It is also important to remember your partner’s good points too. Darren does have lots of great aspects to his personality too! He is kind, caring, helpful, hardworking, supportive and my best friend. If you have been going through a difficult time with your partner where almost everything about them seems to annoy you, it is worth writing out a list of all of the things which you love about them so that you have it ready to remind you when you are finding things hard. This can help you to calm down and think about the bigger picture as you would not want to be without your partner but in the heat of an argument, it can be hard to remember why you are with the person.
“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.” – Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper
This post is part of my blog series – The A-Z of a Healthy and Happy relationship