People who matter, don’t judge. People who judge, don’t matter – Unknown
The definition of the word non-judgmental as cited in the Collins English dictionary says: ‘adjective – of, relating to or denoting an attitude, approach, etc, that is open and not incorporating a judgment one way or the other’.
This is one of the top qualities to have in a good relationship. You should never have to worry that your partner is judging you, you should safely have the knowledge that you can truly be yourself. In a world where people seem more judgmental than ever, you need the comfort and security of a partner who will never judge you.
Of course, this goes both ways, so you should be non-judgmental to your partner too. If a partner harshly judges another’s actions or decisions then it creates a barrier between the two of you. It can make a person worry about their behaviour when in the presence of someone who often judges them, which not only affects the authenticity of the person, it can also cause them to feel very self-conscious.
Even if you think that you are non-judgmental and that your partner would never feel judged by you, it is worth having an honest discussion about this, as they may feel that you judge them without you meaning too. Equally, if you feel that your partner often judges you, talk about it. Chances are, they do not mean to come across that way.
Sometimes, someone may feel that they are being judged when in fact they are not, due to how they feel about themselves and past experiences. If this is the case, I would recommend that they access some kind of talking therapy.
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you – Wayne Dyer
This post is part of the blog series – The A-Z of a healthy and happy relationship.