First-born leaves the nest!

I knew that one day my children would all leave home, but I didn’t expect my oldest to leave home until she was at least thirty. She was always the child who did not want to grow up and she would always tell me that I would have to ‘kick her out’ as she was not going anywhere. Even when she started university she chose to go to our local one so that she did not have to move away from home. Then she met her boyfriend and fell in love and everything changed. 

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At age 20 LJ met her first proper boyfriend and after just six months she made the decision to move in with him. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I guess it is always going to be difficult when your first born leaves home. However, I think the speed of LJ changing from someone who liked being at home and doing everything with me (she was like a shadow at times!) to suddenly being out every night and then moving out completely has really hit me hard.
 
Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, sitting and indoorLJ leaving home has introduced a whole new set of challenges in terms of parenting, which has been difficult to adjust too. When we lived in the same house, no matter how busy we both were, we would always have time to talk each day. Whether late at night or over breakfast in the morning we would have that time together. Now that she has moved out it does take much more effort for both of us to make time to see each other and speak regularly as schedules clash and we have to adjust.
 
 
 
From my point of view, I felt quite hurt and angry that this new person was now LJ’s top priority. On reflection, I know that there is a time for everyone when you fall madly in love and especially at the start of the relationship they are all you think about. So, I do think that I was perhaps a bit unfair to LJ but we live and we learn! 
 
At the end of the day, I just want my children to be happy so as long as she is happy then I am too. I have also made it very clear that she will always have a bed at home should she ever need it. I would hate for her to feel that now she’s gone she cannot come back if things did not work out. 
 
Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, indoor and close-upIt is really strange now and I often find myself putting an extra plate on the table or buying food I know she likes and then realising that she is not here! I miss her so much but at the same time, it is interesting to see what the future holds for her and how our mother-daughter relationship will develop. 
 
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12 thoughts on “First-born leaves the nest!

  1. Goodness I can only begin to think what having your first 'baby' fly the nest feels like - with our girls being 8, 6 and 4 we have a few years to go yet although there are some days where I wish they would Foxtrot Oscar ;-)
  2. It must be hard when little ones grow up and leave the nest. However, it is the first step they take in preparation for children of their own, and that means grandchildren! Tiny little bundles of joy that you can watch grow up. #PoCoLo
  3. I now have an empty nest, i understand what you mean about them having someone else who is their priority now, it's a whole new relationship to work out with your child when they leave home #pocolo
  4. i know how you feel ive got 4 children and when they all found love and moved out i cried for days i kept asking did i do something wrong didnt they love me anymore lol it was like their 1st day at nursery all over again my heart broke but they phone me so many times each and every day some days i think they are stalking me lol xx they always come back home for a sunday dinner or a weekend stay and if they cant make dinner then indo a take away service and deliver it to them xx now my house is filled back up with childrens laughter and love every weekend and school holidays with my 7 grandchildren im glad i let them fly the nest as they have all grown up to be lovely amazing responsible adults im so proud off all my children and my little pots off gold which are my grandchildren xxx
  5. That is lovely Jackie :-) I'm glad I'm not the only one to find it difficult then! Sounds like you have done a fantastic job, I look forward to one day having a home full of grandchildren xxx
  6. Oooh exciting times for LJ and yes I can see how this could be a challenge for the mother-daughter relationship. My mum wishes we spoke more I think! Thanks for linking up to #thesatsesh xx

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