The best things to learn in life is the habit of compromise because it is better to bend a little than to break a loving relationship – unknown.
When you are in a relationship, there will be times when you and your partner will have completely different ideas about things. The thing is, one should not always be able to have everything their own way. This is where the art of compromise comes into play.
I know some couples where everything is one person’s way. One lady, in particular, is proud and often says ‘It’s my way or the highway’ which I think is really sad. If you love someone, you should want them to be happy. Not be selfish and make the person go along with you all of the time.
We are all individual and have all been brought up with different values, experiences and traditions. Therefore, there can be times when you both have polar opposite views on something and you will both believe that you are right.
Coming to a compromise which you are both happy with is key to maintaining a good relationship and this starts with honesty. If you are not open and honest with how you feel about certain issues than you will not be able to have an open discussion and brainstorm ideas to come up with a compromise which suits you both.
How we compromise.
For example, I like to go out a lot at night but Darren likes to stay in and watch TV. We compromised so that I go out to the cinema and darts each week with friends and he gets to stay home. This way we are both happy, rather than me making him come out with me or him making me stay home.
Another example is our expectations for Christmas. To start with, we would argue about Christmas. Making Christmas really special for the kids was a top priority for me but to Darren Christmas was just another day. Talking honestly about it helped us to understand each other. For me, it was really important that everything was perfect and the kids enjoyed themselves. To Darren, he just saw stress and debt when he thought of Christmas. Talking things through helped us to reach a compromise and over the years he has discovered how great a family Christmas can be and is now much more festive than when we first met!
What if we can not compromise?
There may be some things which you feel so strongly about, that you can not find a compromise that you can be happy with. An example of this could be if one of you wants children but the other does not. This is a huge life choice and there is no point saying that you will go along with your partner to keep the peace if it is not something that you can honestly live with as you will only end up resenting each other and be very unhappy.
However, for the most part, compromise is good and means that you can both be happy.
Compromise is not about losing. It is about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do. – Donna Martini.
This post is part of my relationship series. The A-Z of a happy and healthy relationship